Memories
by YunYang13
Summary: This tells of Itsuki and how his life without Sensui is going. Warned be the reader: contains mild yaoi. Itsuki has OOCness at some points. But, REVIEW! That's a order!


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"No! Don't leave me, Shinobu! Please, come back!" I called his name, but he didn't seem to hear me. The quicker I ran in attempts to catch up to him, the farther away he seemed. This was just so wrong! Why couldn't he hear me? And why couldn't I reach him? So many questions. He just kept walking away and ignoring me. Just when I felt myself on the verge of tears---

I awoke suddenly, sitting up in bed. I was panting and sweating all over. _"It was just a dream," _I tell myself.

Another of my never ending nightmares. It's the same one I have every night. My dear Shinobu. I miss him dearly. Without him, I have no reason to live. Right now, death seems so comforting and inviting, as does the darkness. What am I to do now?

No, I know what to do now: Kill Yusuke in pure revenge! But, that idea perhaps isn't so good as it sounds. Yusuke was able to defeat Shinobu, who, although human, had S class demon powers. Sure, I'm close enough to S class, but not close enough. Somehow, I must become stronger. Strong enough to face Yusuke. "Shinobu, I shall avenge you, no matter what it takes," I say quietly to myself.

At that, a strong, cool gust suddenly whips through my open bedroom window. I shiver from head to foot and gooseflesh prickles my arms, neck, and bare chest. I think Shinobu heard me and my somewhat crazy idea. I smile. That gust filled me with sad, yet cherished memories.

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Memory…

"Do you have any last words, demon?" Shinobu Sensui: young, handsome, 14 year old Spirit Detective. It was a great effort for me to even speak, but I managed. "Yes. I do." "Say them now." "Please, if it's possible, could you let me live one more day?" I ask Shinobu. "Why? Why do you deserve one more day of life?" he asks me in a serious tone. "Because, the final episode of my favorite comedy show is on tomorrow night," I reply. I knew that that sounds downright silly, but to my surprise, the show I like turns out to be Shinobu's favorite too.

"Come with me, Itsuki," Shinobu says and holds out his hand. I remain still and silent, shocked at what he says. Then slowly and cautiously, I take his hand and he pulls me up. "You can come home with me tonight. Then tomorrow, we'll watch the final episode."

"Why are you so kind to me, human?" I ask. To be honest, this is the first time that a human has ever been so kind to me. And it stuns me. "Because, there's just something about you that I can't quite explain, but nonetheless, like. I don't really know what it is," he replies. I nod and look deep into his pure blue eyes and he stares into my golden ones. "You're so beautiful, far too beautiful to be a man," he says, at last breaking the silence between us.

I look down, a light pink blush tingeing my normally pale, white cheeks. Moments later, I see Shinobu's face in mine again. Finally, not being able to resist, I shyly kiss his lips. Oh, so soft and warm they are! This surprises him, but he allows me to kiss him. This is it. Shinobu is the perfect one for me.

He, surprisingly enough, deepens the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist. Instantly, a whole range of previously dormant emotions come exploding out of my heart, causing me to moan rather loudly. I was having what one would call a "sensory overload" right now. "More! More!" I cry as I press my body closer to Shinobu's. And he gives it to me. We make sweet love for the fist time. It was love at first sight, I believe. Shinobu is the one. The only one who loves me.

Eons later, as it seems, we finally stop. Both of us are sweating and tired. For a while, I just stare into his eyes and he stares into mine. I knew that such a love was forbidden. I was now a traitor to my own demon kind, falling in love with a human. And not just any human, the Spirit Detective human.

"What's wrong, Itsuki?" Shinobu asks. He looks worried. "I just realized something…" "And that would be…?" "I'm now a traitor to my own demon kind because I fell in love with you." He frowns upon realizing that like I did.

"I have a solution to that problem," he finally says. Surprised, I ask, "And what's the solution?" "Become my partner in killing evil demons. You're a traitor, so what does it really matter whether you join me or not, right? In other words, become a Spirit Detective, like me." I turn my head to the side, considering the offer. "Ok," I say.

And, home we go. Together at last, with the one love that I'd been searching for my entire life. Nothing could take my precious Shinobu away from me. Nothing.

End Memory…

I now find myself crying soft, sad tears. He's gone, but I can still feel his warmth, his love. "Why won't you leave me alone and stop haunting my thoughts and dreams!" I cry. "Why! Why!" In a childish manor, I bury my tear stained face in my hands, shivering. "Why must I be made to suffer like this!"

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"Itsuki," a voice inside my head says. Confused, I look around, but see no one. _"Who are you?" I ask the voice. "I am your sane conscious which has been long forgotten and abandoned for so long," the voice replied. "Since when did I have you?" I wonder. "Exactly. You knew that you had me all long, but paid no attention to me." "Really?" "Yes. Now, pull yourself together, Itsuki. You know that Shinobu's dead and that's that, nothing you can do about it. Plus, stop obsessing over him! For god's sake, you're in love with a dead guy!" "You're right. I should stop obsessing over dear Shinobu."_

The voice is gone now. Everything is quiet again. Shinobu. My conscious has returned to me, as has my sanity. I realize everything that my sane conscious has told me is indeed true. I should pull myself together and stop obsessing over my dead love. It's time for me to move on with my life. Sure, it won't be easy, but I'll survive.

Somehow.

By now, it's light outside. The blinding brightness of the early morning sun's light hurts my eyes. I put on my usual white robes, the ones that I wore while meditating and working on the tunnel to Demon World. I pull my hair back in a ponytail, like I did back when I fought demons alongside Shinobu. It'd been so long since I last did that. It feels so strange, almost wrong. I pack my bags, just a few simple things: Water, energy drinks, food, a book, photo album of Shinobu and myself, cell phone, ipod, pen, and a brush. In my other bag, I carry my laptop and internet connection cord.

Sighing heavily, I take something out of my pocket. It's a piece of Yusuke's shirt from when he fought Shinobu. I inhale the scent deeply. You see, a demon's sense of smell is about 50x stronger and more sensitive than a human's. Slipping it back in my pocket, I put my nose to the air and sniff.

His scent is faint, but detectable with a demon's sense of smell. I follow the smell down the street, then left, then right, then left again. So confusing, the directions, but I'll be able to find my way back. Yaminades aren't ones who easily get lost or are unable to find their way back.

For hours, I follow the still faint scent. People are staring at me strangely, but I pay no attention to them. I know that I should dress like a regular person. I know that I should get normal colored contacts. But, the hair's probably ok. I mean, it IS normal for some humans to dye their hair unusual, not natural colors, right?

After what seemed like forever, I finally found Yusuke's apartment. Knocking lightly, I wait for him or someone else to come and answer. Fortunately, it's Yusuke himself that answers. He seems surprised to see me, of all people, here. "Wait…I remember you! You're Itsuki! Say, what're you doing here anyways?" Yusuke seems quite confused, so I do my best to explain clearly.

"I came to exact my revenge on you! You killed the only person who I loved and the only one who loved me!" I cry. That look on Yusuke's face says it all: The memories he has of the fight with Sensui are all coming back to him now. "You? Revenge? Whatever happened to the calm, quiet Itsuki?" "The old me is gone!" I reply. Yusuke sighs and says, " Revenge, huh? Fine then. But, I must know, what makes you think that you can defeat me? I beat Sensui, and he was much stronger than you were." "You weren't really you when you defeated him," I say.

"I wasn't? What do you mean I wasn't myself when I killed him?" Yusuke seems honestly confused at what I said. "You were too different to actually be you. There was something that possessed you. You're a demon, Yusuke," I tell him. "I am?" "Yes. Your demon blood kicked in right when you needed it the most." "Really? Then why don't I remember any of that?" "That's perfectly normal for someone who's possessed to not remember it."

"Ok, if you really want revenge, then let's go," Yusuke says. Both of us step outside, after I set my things down. I give him my most determined glare, and I think he gets the point: I'm not going to loose. And I won't. I have many hidden powers that no one knows about. So secret that not even Shinobu knew about them when he was alive.

So, I toss aside my white robes, revealing my red undershirt. Again, Yusuke seems a bit surprised. Whatever.

Instantly, he powers up for a Spirit Gun. No matter. He fires. I simply open another dimension and the blast of blue energy goes into it, leaving me unharmed. He's really shocked by this. Frowning, he decides to charge right at me. I just step into another dimension hole and close it.

Yusuke skids to a stop and looks around, confused. "Where'd he go?" he asks himself as he still looks for me.

Inside my other dimension, I smirk at his confusion. Humans, so gullible. I chuckle and prepare to unleash one of my kept secret powers: Dimension Lightning. As the name suggests, it's lightning I summon from other dimensions.

I leap out of hiding and yell, "Dimension Lightning!" Yusuke turns his head to the side and stares at me, one eyebrow raised. "Nothing's happening," he says to me and smirks. I return that and snap my fingers. Yusuke looks up, only to see a brilliant flash of blue lightning strike him.

"Oh damn! Seven of Suzaku is enough! We don't need another one!" he curses as about 500,000 volts of electricity surge through his body. I laugh and ask, "Had enough?" Yusuke gets shakily to his feet, brown eyes glaring at me. Point proven: Nope. I'm gonna kick your pretty demon ass.

Another snap, another strike of blue lightning. Yet, no matter how many times I strike, he always gets right back up, determined to fight on. I frown. Now it's starting to get annoying. So, I reveal another hidden power: Dimensional Lightning Sword. Yes, pretty much all of my powers have to have something to do with dimensions, or I wouldn't be who I am, would I?

I breathe deeply and close my eyes, focusing my energy on forming a sword of lightning. Yusuke, I sense him coming right at me again. My golden eyes snap open and I swing the sword right across his chest. Heh, he fell right into my trap.

Yusuke stumbles back, stunned. It's a wonder that he's survived this much. But, I think my last attack did him in. He collapses. I walk over and stand above him, looking down. He appears to be unconscious.

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"I'm sure that Shinobu would be proud of me," I think. For some reason, I think back to when I first met the other five minions that Shinobu had recruited.

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Memory…

"Itsuki, come and meet the other five psychics," Shinobu says. By now, we've all lost our sanity. I'd watched Shinobu grow up right before my eyes. And I'd been with him on the night that he went insane and took on six other personalities. What he saw on that one fateful assignment was just too much for his mind to bear. By now, he was 26, no longer 14. And he was no longer a Spirit Detective. Instead, he'd been fired for stealing the Chapter Black tape.

"Hello. Pleased to meet you all. I'm Itsuki," I say to the five and bow deeply. The first one introduces himself as Tsukihito Amanema AKA GameMaster. The second is called Sadao Makihara AKA Gourmet. Just "lovely". The third is Minoru Kamiya AKA Doctor. Fourth is Kiyoshi Mitarai AKA SeaMan (at that, I couldn't help but giggle). And the last is Kaname Hagiri AKA Sniper.

"I am AKA GateKeeper," I tell them. "As you all should know, this is Shinobu Sensui AKA BlackAngel." They all nod. "Now, I shall return to my meditation." And I leave them, returning to the kayak in the center of the small lake. Behind me is an ever-growing tunnel to Demon World.

While working on it, I mayn't seem like I'm doing anything but sleeping while sitting up. But, inside, my mind is working overtime while forging the tunnel. Don't ask me how I can sleep/meditate and still stay sitting upright. I just…can. I know that's odd, but I can.

The five "newbies" explore the large perimeter of Demon's Door Cave, which is where we are. I just sit quietly, working on the tunnel. Shinobu watches the five of them explore.

End Memory…

"I wonder…" My thoughts returned to thinking of those innocent five psychics. They didn't know that Shinobu had led them to what was ultimately their own demise. They were just mere pawns in his all over plan to destroy all humans. But, no, I was different, special. Or was I really just like them? Was I really fooled into believing that Shinobu cared about me? No, I couldn'tve been. He loved me. I was the first one he'd met. The first one he'd loved. No, I wasn't like the rest of the psychics he'd gathered.

Coming back to the present, I realize that a blast of blue energy is headed right for me. I had no time to react. I feel myself collide with the hard, cool ground. A jolt of pain rushes through my entire body. My head now throbs painfully. I open my eyes, to see Yusuke standing over me, index finger ready to fire another attack. I gulp and close my eyes tightly. This's the end. I'm cornered, with no way to escape. Again, my memory of Shinobu did me in.

I brace myself for the final strike, but there isn't one. Surprised, I again open my eyes. Yusuke's knelt down beside me. Oddly enough, he looks worried and concerned. I just stare at him, not knowing what to make of things right now.

"Hey, are you ok?" he asks me. Shocked, I give a slight 'uh', but say, "I think so." "You were daydreaming, weren't you, Itsuki?" I do my best to nod, but it hurts. A wave of pain goes from the end of my spine to the beginning of my neck. I squeeze my eyes shut in pain and shiver. Obviously, I'm not ok.

Yusuke frowns and purses his lips. He's deciding what to do. It's unlikely that he's ever taken care of an injured demon before. No, I don't deserve his help. He probably knows that I'm thinking that.

Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted. Although it's gently, waves of pain still circulate through my entire body, causing me to whimper and squeeze my eyes shut tightly again. "You'll be ok," Yusuke tells me. I'm still in shock. _"Why's Yusuke being so kind to me?" _I wonder. So, I just close my eyes and fall into a light sleep.

The next time I awake, I find myself in bed. It's not the one that I used to sleep in with Shinobu. No, it's Yusuke's. And he sits on the edge beside me. I blink and he says, "Welcome back. I was worried that I'd lost you." Ok, I'm still confused.

"I-I don't deserve your kindness and care," I say. "C'mon, don't be silly! Of course you do!" he replies. "I sided with the one who tried to kill you," I whisper. "That was a long time ago! It's all in the past now, Itsuki." I gasp. "You still sore all over?" "Yes. I might've broke something." Yusuke bends down and stares at me, our faces inches apart. He then runs his hand across the scar that goes down the right side of my face and neck. I flinch at the touch, closing my right eye.

"That scar…I remember. Kuwabara gave you it when he sliced open the dimension that you'd trapped him and the others in," Yusuke says. I nod. Other than that scar, my skin was perfect. I sigh heavily. My once perfect skin was ruined, as was my appearance, by that scar. Luckily, my hair, which has a tendency to hang in my face, covering the scar.

"What's wrong?" Yusuke asks. As my golden eyes fill with tears, I reply, "I miss my precious Shinobu." "You knew that he had to die." "Yes. I knew. But, why?" "He was: One, completely insane. Two, wanted to destroy all humans. Three: was a threat to the entire planet." Tears now trickle down my pale cheeks. I fight hard to not cry, but I can't help it. I lay there, sobbing. Yusuke knows that I'm in terrible pain, but doesn't know what to do about it.

I try to get up, only to fall back down from dizziness. "You should just stay and rest." "No, I must get home." "Home? Is that defined in your vocabulary as "with Sensui"?" Yusuke asks. I nod then say, "I have an actual home." "Really?" He seems surprised. "Yes. I finally moved on with my life. I left Shinobu." Now Yusuke seems really, really shocked. Well, that's not too surprising. I love him very much, even though he's dead. I gather up my stuff and decide to head home.

"Well, take care of yourself, Itsuki. Hey, how's that left eye of yours?" Yusuke asks. I turn to him and he takes a look at the scar, saying, "It looks a lot better. Hey, look, I'm sorry about everything. That wasn't me that killed Sensui. It was that ancestor of mine that took over my body." I smile. "No, that was you, Yusuke. The part of you that truly wanted Shinobu to die took over and made you do it." "Yah, I guess you're right. Well, see ya." And he waves to me as I walk slowly down the street.

It's getting dark and the sun's going down. There aren't many humans on the streets right now. For some reason, I'm unusually nervous. And I don't know why. It's odd really.

As I walk by a dark, lightless alley, I hear a very familiar voice. "Itsuki," the voice says. I turn in the direction of that voice, and I swear to God, I saw Shinobu. Same deep blue eyes, same tall, slender, muscular, tan body. Same gelled back hair except for one strand. I gasp and fall back, staring up at the tall figure above me.

He offers me a hand. Despite being stunned, I take it and I get up. "Th-thanks, Shinobu." "I love you, Itsuki. Don't ever forget that. Always remember me, do not forget ever," he says. I nod and as I reach out to embrace him, he disappears in a gust of wind.

I'm even sadder than I was before. I saw Shinobu again and now I want him even more. It hurts deeply. I sink to my knees, sobbing. That's when I have another debate with my sane conscious.

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"Itsuki, get a hold of yourself. You're loosing it again," my conscious tells me. "Sorry," I say. "Uh-huh. Like I'm gonna believe that," it says. "Hey, I really am, ok? Now shut up!" I snap. "Ok, fine. I see how it is!" And the silence returns.

I begin to sing quietly to myself, ignoring the stares from the crowd that follows me now, because of the song I sing. What song is it? "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day.

The crowd follows me. I turn slightly and look back at their eager faces. All of the crowd people are Gothic punks, decked out in chains and belts. They, at the same time, seem surprised that I, the most unGothic and unpunk person of all time, am singing a GD song.

I "lead" them to a nearby Starbucks and go inside. Patiently, they wait for me while I order my usual--a Mint Mocha Chip blended coffee. And they wait while I drink and enjoy it.

When I finish, I tell them that I'm going to change in the bathroom and will be out shortly. It's amazing, really, how true band fans can be so patient while waiting for the members of that band to come and sing some worldwide famous song.

About ten minutes later, I come out and there's applause as I come. What exactly did I change into? Tight black pants (like Shinobu's), a sleeveless black shirt that has chains dangling from where the sleeves would be and around my waist. My boots are black leather and have belts going up the sides.

Now they seem to be more interested. So, I begin to sing. Gradually, the crowd grows as I continue. _"I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams, where the city sleeps and I'm the only one. And I walk alone, alone, alone, alone._

I'm walkin' down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. On the borderline, where I walk alone…"

Some random punk from the crowd offers me his guitar. Noticing that it's an electric one, I look around for somewhere to plug it in. About ten minutes later, I finally find that plug and well, I got at it on the guitar, doing my best to remember how the tune goes in the song.

By now, I have a crowd of about thirty or forty. Even in the dark of the night, I can still tell that they're Goths. I could just imagine Shinobu here. He'd blend with the crowd; he's Gothic too, just like the others here now.

Once I finish the song, they look at me with pleading, dark eyes. Uh-oh. There's a problem: That's the only GD song I know. So, I begin singing a Linkin Park one: "In the End".

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"…It starts with one thing, I don't know why, doesn't even matter how hard ya try/ Keep this in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard and got so far…But in the end, it doesn't even matter… One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard ya try. Keep this in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter…"

"Itsuki!" I hear some familiar voice yell, rising above the crowd's yelling and my guitar playing combined. I stop, the crowd silences, and we all turn to see who actually had a voice loud enough. To my surprise, it is…

"Hagiri!" I say in shock. One: How did he find me? Two: What's he doing here? So, I ask. "Hagiri, how did you find me and what are you doing here?" "What, I can't come and say 'hi' to an old friend?" he replies, a small smile crossing his pale face. I sigh. Then I squint and realize that he's not wearing his usual baggy white shirt and jacket.

Instead, he's wearing a tight black shirt with the names of his favorite bands written all over in silver, tight black pants, metal-toed black leather boots, a black Social Distortion jacket, and black gloves with no fingers. I simply raise a brow and stare at him. Nope, he doesn't look like the Hagiri that I know. I mean, he's still Hagiri, he just doesn't look like himself tonight. Did he know that I was going to be doing this? Maybe so.

He stands there a bit longer, still staring at me while I stare at him. The rest of the crowd is staring at the two if us.

Five minutes later, I finally blink and get back up on the table. Hagiri just fits right in with the crowd, thus making it hard for me to find him. But, that doesn't matter. Beside him, I see what I think is the ghost of Shinobu. Despite that and the overwhelming feeling of joy I feel right now, I continue singing the night away.


End file.
